I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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