bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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