So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
