jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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