i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i believe in u and ur pee
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