Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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