i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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