It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
