Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
FUCK WHALES
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