Plan B is the new Plan A
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize