Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
