Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
