you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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