Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
