I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
