I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Welp...herpes.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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