So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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