I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
