Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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