dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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