I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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