So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
