Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
