Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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