so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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