Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
