i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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