I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
