Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
