We should be called the Road Head Warriors
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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