She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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