and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
