He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
