who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
