just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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