Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
