Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
