Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
