DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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