angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
