I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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