Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
