dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
