a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
