My nipple is on Facebook.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize