Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
