just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
