Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
