my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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