oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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