Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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