totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize