Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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