why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize