Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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