please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
