fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The power of my boobs compel you
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
