He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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