hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
