Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
a search helicopter?!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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