Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
