She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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