Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
