It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
