i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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