what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
