Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
