Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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