I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
