I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
