I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
