apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
