Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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