he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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