Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
