my sisters under your porch take her home
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
