See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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