Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
