you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
