He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The air was thick with penises
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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